Useful Information

Scene: Partridge Creek OBGYN office

Gyno: Hi Mrs Brouwer, so nice to see you. I noticed in your file that you started taking Topamax for your migraines about three months ago. I’m sure you are aware it decreases the effectiveness of your birth control. What back-up method have you been using?

Gyno: Mrs Brouwer?  Mrs Brouwer? Are you breathing Mrs Brouwer?


The New Crew

So you may have heard that Drew got a Goldfish as his grand finale prize for being potty training. We welcomed into our home, Mr Norman, a fat, Fancy Goldfish. We brought him home, set up Pete’s old one-gallon tank and enjoyed our new pet. However, Mr Norman, did not seem so happy and we felt maybe he would benefit from a larger tank. So we bought him a brand new 5 gallon tank. A fancy, schmancy Fluval Chi thingy that had waterfall action and all sorts of stuff on it. Mr Norman was still sad and would only occasionally eat a peeled pea. He suffered from Goldfish depression, and he needed his goldfish buddies. Since our new tank was so small, we could not fit another fancy goldfish. 😦 Are you aware that PetSmart take Goldfish returns? They do! Oh, if only I took a picture of the clerk when I explained Norman’s struggles with depression….

Now onto Norman #2 and Zack and Mrs Hopper and Bus-a-Saurus and Drew, our five new fancy guppies all named by Drew (can you tell?). The new guppies thrive in the tank and we get a lot of help from our 3 year old especially at feeding time. Hence, all the extra fish food at the bottom of the tank now!

So off to PetSmart we go, to get a “sucker” fish that may help with the mess at the bottom of the tank. We soon learn Plecos can get as big as 24″ long and with our tiny tank, we know the Pleco is just not the right choice for us. I ask the sales lady for her recommendation. She suggested a Shrimp or Frog. Oh, cute! Drew picks the Frog. So I ask about Frog Care. She assured me we needed nothing since they are aquatic frogs that stay under the water. The frog would live in our current tank, stay 1 inch in size, and just feed off of the left over fish food. She said “that’s all we do here, they are self-sufficient”. Perfect!

Drew names our new addition Kermit and we keep an eye on him for two days but never see him eat. hmmmm…… Then the next evening, after work, Kermit was GONE! Like really gone. I moved everything out of the tank and could not find him anywhere! Oh No! Did he jump out of our “top-less” tank? Could one of those guppy pigs of ate him?? Frantic googling ensues: Missing African Dwarf Frog (ADF). And what do I learn you ask?

1) ADF must be in tank that has a lid. They WILL jump out.

2) ADF should not be kept in a gravel tank. It can slice through their delicate skin.

3) ADF should not be kept in a tank with plastic plants. They can slice through thier delicate skin.

4) ADF does not eat flake fish food. They eat BLOODWORMS! Ahhhhhh!

So basically everything we did created an unsafe, horrible environment for our little Kermy. And he chose to jump out rather than spend one more hungry minute in our froggy death trap. Poor little guy. We looked all around the kitchen for evidence of his demise only to find Molly looking especially fat and happy. Oh well. Life goes on (we except for Bus-a-saurus, he also did not make it but he was of ill health we assume.)

So the next morning I head to the kitchen to feed the remaining fish and there is Kermit! Staring at me! Giving me the stink-eye and glaring with an intensity that clearly states “Here’s your last chance jerk-face. Are you going to feed me or what?!” None of us could believe it! He was in the tank!!! Now we really had to make it right and do it now.

Chris bought a new larger tank (yes, this is tank #3) and we have decided to go to a sand bottom tank rather than gravel for the safety of the frog. But with sand come new rules for tank maintenance and several experts recommend getting Malaysian Trumpet Snails (MTS) to help churn the sand and keep the tank clean and healthy. So, now I’m on the hunt for Snails and Bloodworms. Ugggg. After 4 stores and about 2 hours of driving literally to edge of the United States, I am able to acquire a package of frozen Bloodworms but no luck on the MTS. Now for the hour long drive home. Not so bad, it was a beautiful unseasonably warm day. I was enjoying my errands….until…. I looked in my passenger seat and realized my Bloodowrms were MELTING! Melting onto my light grey suede seats in my car! My car looked like a crime scene. Blood sloshing at every turn – DISGUSTING! So what have we learned today?

1) Buy your Bloodworms locally.

2) Spot Shot will get blood stains out of suede.  (Thank you Barry for the emergency can)

Now the frog is fed, but still no snails. Off to find the elusive MTS. I head to PetSmart. They do not have MTS, but what they do have is a DEAD frog! Thank goodness we saved Kermit from his death sentence at PetSmart, too bad for his amphibian friend though.  I hear a rumor of a tiny store out near Anchor Bay and Drew and I head on over. This little store is really cool and they do have the MTS, but now I am totally scared! The lady showed me the snail tank, she said “We put 4 of them in there in January.” Well now it is April and there are hundreds of them! Apparently snails are asexual and they just hibbidy-dibbidy all day and replicate themselves. What am I supposed to do with all of that? Am I supposed to become some sort of back alley snail dealer???? Nope, I’m scared. What are your other options, I ask. She replies “Shrimp”. Again with the Shrimp. “OK, pack ’em up.” She told us not to get attached to them because they will die. They are just glorified garbage disposals and the frog may just eat them one day. “Fine, then we will just call them Alfredo, Scampi, Creole and BBQ.”

So that’s the whole crew: Norman, Zack, Mrs Hopper, Drew, Kermit, Alfredo, Scampi, Creole and BBQ.

From left: Norman, Drew, Mrs. Hopper & Zack (by the pinapple)

Kermit the ADF

Shrimps be creepin’ 😉